Thursday, 15 January 2015

It takes a family to raise a mom...

With Canada AM Producer Jessica
Yesterday was my mother's 72nd birthday.  There is another Influenza Outbreak in her pod, and she is restricted to her room.  We insisted that Dad not go and risk exposure, but I went (masked) to see her before I wrote the last of my deferred exams (which signalled the end of Semester 1 of my paralegal studies - hallelujah!).

As I sat with her I could see her struggling to open her eyes.  It seemed an almost impossible task.  I called Davie and Dad and we sang to her. I could have sworn I saw the corners of her mouth turn upward, hinting at a smile.  I kissed her and told her I loved her, and took a selfie of us - because everyone should have a photo to mark their birthday.  And I left.  I had a final exam to write and the clock was ticking.

I wrote the exam and was filled with a sense of accomplishment.  Bravo to Carlo and Sara and Rebecca - for they are the support team behind the scenes that enables me to go to school, and work, and keep it together.  They are my rocks.  It really does take a family to raise a mom - and I am blessed with a great one.

And now in the 2 days I have before Semester 2 begins, I have taken a trip down memory lane, back to a time when it took a complete family to try and raise our mother from sinking into the abyss of Alzheimers Disease.

I was contacted just over a week ago by a producer for Canada AM - a national morning show.  They are presenting a week-long series on Alzheimer's Disease and I was invited to share the story of our journey, along with other families and people touched by AD.

So, today, I went over to the Bell Media Studios thinking that I would have a pleasant interview and be on my way.  Everyone was very nice, although I must say it is a little disconcerting to stand in a darkened studio, look into a camera and answer questions.  But that wasn't what got me.   As I recounted our story, I could feel a lump rising in my throat, and my heart began to race.  It was as though 13 years had fallen to the wayside and I was reliving the moments of discovering something was wrong with my mother all over again.

Sounds melodramatic, I know, and as I had to stop and take a minute - yes, people really do that - I was yelling at myself in my head: "Naomi, this is old news!  Get it together!  Why is this story, of the bookkeeper quitting in a temper tantrum because your mother couldn't understand her instructions, why is this story making you cry?!"  I don't know that I can answer that for you now, except to say that the wounds of the long goodbye are raw, and they never quite heal over.  It's like a persistent cut, you think it's healed and then some slight movement and it's open and bleeding again.

I miss my mother, and when I go beyond the intellectual, and allow myself to feel the loss and sorrow that accompanies the long goodbye, I realize that I am still that girl who needs her mom, only now I can only enjoy the comfort of her embrace in my dreams and memories.

I don't know how the interview piece will turn out (I can only hope I don't appear like a blubbering, babbling fool), but I invite you all to tune into Bell Media/CTV's Canada AM every morning next week, when they will air the special on Alzheimer's.  The piece I participated in will be airing on Thursday January 22nd, 2015, during the Town Hall.

Until next time, which I hope will not be the end of Semester 2 (!!), I wish you all a wonderful week filled with family, fun, friends and fantastic food.  B'Tayavon and Buon Appetito.